My garden is full of tentacles.
The squash are by far the most tentacled, hundreds of slim digits attaching themselves to anything that let’s them go upward. Guiding them along the wire cylinders we’ve place them in is a Sisyphean task. Every morning I discover they’ve lashed out of their enclosures, searching for new objects to cling to. God forbid I should miss a day, or they’d be choking out my tomatoes.
Sad cousin to the squash, our sole melon vine seems afraid of letting its tentacle flag fly. Depressed by the mild weather or maybe just intimidated by the exploding chard situated next to it, it refuses to grow or to die. It sits there, day after day, healthy but small. I maintain that once the weather turns hot, it’ll turn into a kudzu like monster, growing several feet in a day, but until then I can’t help but feel it’s a waste of potential.
Not all the tentacles are welcome though. In fact, my little canopy jungle is situated squarely in hostile territory, between opposing walls of ivy and bougainvillea. Both are devious plants, sending their soft tendrils underground to breach in the rich soil of our plant beds. Thieving bastards.
While the struggle to contain the squash vines is a labor of love, rooting out these intruders is a war requiring ruthless efficiency and constant vigilance. I’m particularly protective of the tomatoes, because tomatoes are delicious and when the boug’ comes up in their bed I flip my lid. On numerous occasions I’ve swore to all who would listen that I’ll burn down that cursed hedge, but the opportunity has yet to present itself.
On the western front, by the time ivy leaves start showing in the garlic bed a large root base is already established and must be destroyed. Ivy’s white shoots will strangle everything above it, and so it can be shown no mercy. I will bide my time, and let the garlic bulb before I delve into the bed and tear out yards of tender roots. When I do, I’ll leave no trace of this menace, only the sweet irony of more tentacles: the bed needs vetch for cover crop.
So many tentacles.
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